Amazon Is Getting Ready To Launch A Delivery Service To Compete With UPS And FedEx As Jeff Bezos Continues His Plan For World Domination

NYP- Amazon, which already delivers millions of packages ordered from its Web site to addresses around the world, is getting ready to launch a delivery service for businesses that will rival FedEx and UPS, according to a report Friday morning.

Under the proposed service, to be called “Shipping with Amazon,” the e-commerce giant will pick up packages from businesses and deliver them to customers, according to the Wall Street Journal, which first reported on the Amazon proposal, citing people familiar with the matter.

Another day, another industry about to be taken over by Amazon. The Bezos Train keeps on rolling and doesn’t care who it runs over next. Now it looks like UPS and FedEx are the next on the chopping block. Two companies that Amazon needed over the years in order to grow that also put a shitload of money in each company’s pocket. But now that Bezos Inc. no longer needs them, it’s time to slit their throats and dispose of the bodies. Ruthless, efficient as fuck, and capitalism at its finest.

I can’t even remember the last time I got a non-Amazon package from UPS. However I can remember seeing a UPS temp employee at my door during the holiday season crying on the phone to his mom because he hated his new job so much because, and I quote, “The Amazon boxes don’t stop coming”. I guess that won’t be a problem once SWA launches.

Lets see how traders took the news on Friday.

The news sent shares of FedEx and UPS sliding in pre-market trading. UPS shares were down 5.3 percent at 8 a.m., to $103.50. FedEx shares were down 4.5 percent, to $228.50. Amazon shares were up $7.45 to $1,357.95.

All that’s left is for Amazon to buy a major car company, a petroleum company, and figure out where HQ2 goes. Then they will have their home base for world domination, a means to ship out all products on their own, and employees that are being fed tasty superfoods at cost since Whole Foods is now a part of the Evil Empire. I for one welcome our new Amazon overlords.

Or I guess I should say overlord since Jeff Bezos is the real life Lex Luthor, with Amazon simply acting as Luthor Corp.